


Never Letting Go (Leaves a Mark)

by darknesscrochets



Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Not Beta Read, Scars, possibly thematic spoilers for the end of row but they’re very vague, set between oathbringer and rhythm of war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28578906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darknesscrochets/pseuds/darknesscrochets
Summary: Kaladin has scars that won’t heal, no matter how much stormlight he uses. He doesn’t think he wants them to. Scars have meaning, to him and to everyone around him.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	Never Letting Go (Leaves a Mark)

Bridge Four stops asking why Kaladin still has his scars a few months after they settle into Urithiru.

It used to come up, every now and then; it happened more frequently with new squires, who didn’t know not to ask. 

Kaladin’s got a lot of issues, but shyness has never been one of them. On hot days, training out on the Plains, people would stare if he went without a shirt. They still do, but most of them have learned better than to mention his scars.

The most obvious ones are the brands on his face. Kaladin tries not to think about those, about the failures that led to them. He trusted Amaram, and it got his entire squad killed; other slaves put _their_ trust in _him_ , and he got them killed. He wears his failures for all to see; not proudly, but as a warning, barely covered by his hair even when he wears it loose.

Most of Kaladin’s scars, though, are usually hidden under his clothes. There’s the marks of years at war, of course. Some of the more forgettable scars fully healed when Kaladin swore the First Ideal, though he didn’t notice until days later, when he had a chance to rest for more than a few hours. 

Other scars, like the slash on his arm from the first wound he took in battle… those remain. They mean something to him, like the brands on his face do.

Kaladin has more unusual scars, gained outside of the traditional battlefield. Deep rends on his shoulders, from his very first run with Bridge Four. That run tore up the soles of his feet, too, but _those_ scars are rarely visible to the casual observer, or even those he trains with.

Some people wouldn’t call a bridge run a battle. Those kinds of people are too cowardly to ever say it to his face.

Kaladin's not alone in keeping his scars. He can see it in the other former bridgmen--experiences like bridge runs, they shape you. Change you as a person, in ways that are visible on the surface as scars, and less visible underneath.

Some of them healed themselves, of course. Lopen’s arm, Hobber’s legs. He doesn’t begrudge them that; really, he’s genuinely _happy_ for them.

Some scars don’t heal, though. Kaladin can see it in the way former bridgemen, now Windrunner squires, endure training past what any reasonable sergeant would expect. How they stick to traditions formed during the worst days of their lives; traditions that they now use to adopt people into the Windrunners, forging new bonds and reinforcing old ones.

In a way, these traditions are the lightest of the scars the bridgemen carry. The heavier ones show themselves in the way they distrust authority, but put their faith in Kaladin--both to an almost immeasurable amount. Some would say an unreasonable one.

Kaladin, the bridgemen; they aren’t alone with their scars. He can see them on the Heralds too. Shalash and Talenelat--though he’s heard they prefer Ash and Taln. Kaladin hasn’t talked to them himself, but gossip traveled fast in the warcamps and it moves even faster in Urithiru, like the rock itself carries rumors through garnet veins.

The gossip-mongers speak of scars on Ash’s arms. Washerwomen talk about a scar on Taln’s face, between loads of laundry in the communal washrooms; how plainly it stands out against his dark skin, visible from afar, as close as any of them get to the Heralds in person.

More than that, though, they talk about Taln’s inability to focus on the world for more than a minute at a time. Merchants in the market whisper about how Ash hates the Vorin worship of Heralds, how she fixates on destruction of iconography to an unhealthy degree.

The ardents always spoke of Heralds as divine figures, larger than life--unaffected by mortal afflictions like battle shock and trauma.

It might be uncomfortable to some, but Kaladin prefers the distinctly human Heralds to the legends depicted in stories. His father was right--the Heralds, the Radiants, they’re all just people. Kaladin, a Knight Radiant himself, is still just a person, no matter how much the ardentia or the common folk might try to raise them up on some divine pedestal.

And people--people like Kaladin, like the bridgemen, like the Heralds themselves--people bear scars.

**Author's Note:**

> i finished row and immediately went back to reread wok. this is the result.


End file.
